College Football

After a WONDERFUL weekend of football here are your updates:


Alabama beats Vanderbilt in Nashville to open up the SEC season with a bang. Roll Tide!


Ole Miss couldn't quite pull it out, but they had a great day of offense (their best in 4 years) BenJarvus Green-Ellis rushed for 226 yards alone. How can you not like a guy with a name like that?


Oklahoma is tearin' it up. They dominated the field this weekend against the Miami Hurricanes and put themselves at #3 in the AP polls!!


The Choctaws were off this week but next weekend they open up ASC play with Texas Lutheran. Should be a good test of what we are working with this year!


Oh and FSU got beat by Clemson in the Bowden Bowl. If anyone cares.

And State beat Tulane. Go State! Go State! (Come on you gotta be excited when State beats anybody...except Alabama that is!)

But to make this weekend truly spectacular...AUBRUN LOST!!!!!

Ok weekend update over. Now enjoy this just for funsies!


So, how many SEC students does it take to change a light bulb?

At VANDERBILT: it takes two, one to change the bulb and one more to explain how they did it every bit as good as the bulbs changed at Harvard.


At GEORGIA: it takes two, one to change the bulb and one to phone an engineer at Georgia Tech for instructions.


At FLORIDA: it takes four, one to screw in the bulb and three to figure out how to get stoned off the old one.


At ALABAMA: it takes three, one to change it and two to reminisce about how The Bear would have done it.


At LSU: it takes seven, and each one gets credit for five semester hours.


At OLE MISS : it takes four, one to change it and three to find the perfect J. Crew outfit for the occasion.


At KENTUCKY: it takes eight, one to screw it in and seven to discuss how much brighter it seems to shine during basketball season.


At TENNESSEE: it takes ten, two to figure out how to screw it in, two to buy an orange lampshade, and six to phone a radio call-in show and talk about how much they hate Alabama.


At MISSISSIPPI STATE: it takes fifteen, one to screw in the bulb, two to buy the Skoal, and twelve to yell, "GO TO HELL, OLE MISS".


At SOUTH CAROLINA: it takes 80,000, one to screw it in and 79,999 to discuss how this will finally be the year that they have a decent football team.


At AUBURN: it takes one hundred, one to change it, forty-nine to talk about how they wish they had a national championship and fifty to roll Toomer's Corner when bulb installation is complete.

At ARKANSAS: None. There is no electricity in Arkansas.